You Can’t Judge a Hero by Their Uniform

Although I am not one to hold fictional characters in such high regard, I can admit that when I hear the word “hero”, flashes of Superman’s cape or Captain America’s shield instantly run through my head.  I think those two examples are awesome characters and definitely a few of my favorites in the world of make believe, however, they are just as I referred to them… characters. Looking up to characters instead of real people has kind of created a skewed image of what a real hero actually is.  Don’t get me wrong, the examples above are excellent for kids and even adults to look up to and try to emulate.  Both stand for the side of good and their creators have written some excellent characteristics into their storylines, including strong moral character, physical prowess, and a fond regard for other humans which are all great things to have.

Personally, I have always felt safer and more fulfilled looking up to the real heroes in life, ones who wear a bit different uniform and actually have some flaws, which is the essence of being human.  I’m talking about the ones whose uniform includes a whistle (and back in my day some really short shorts and tight shirts, which seems to be coming back in style lately).  Yes, I’m talking about COACHES.  From time to time as a young child I had to channel my inner Captain America to get from the light switch to the bed before whatever I thought was lurking under there grabbed me, but I’ve never met Cap and I certainly couldn’t have a sit down with him nor would he answer the phone if I called- you know because of the whole him not being real thing.  My coaches, however, have always been a phone call, letter, email, text, or visit away.  Most importantly their lessons from our time together are permanently etched into my brain and ready for access like a YouTube video that I can pull up with the click of button.  Additionally, unlike perfect comic book superhero’s, they come equipped with flaws and quirks which actually makes them significantly more relatable.  I never needed perfection from my heroes and role models, I just needed to know that they cared and believed in me.

I’ve been beyond blessed to have had what I consider some of the best coaches to ever roam this earth.  Many have never heard of them, but I’d like to change that.  Coaches like Fred Blackhurst, Rich Hancox, Rolland “Bay” Lawrence, and Bill Schwabenbauer (and many others but these men really impacted me on another level).   Guys who had just what I needed, exactly when I needed it, even when I had no idea that I needed it.  In what I consider the most crucial four-year time period of life, I met my Forever Coaches who helped to build the very foundation that my life stands upon today. 

That period I’m referring to, is of course high school.  Perhaps the most action-packed time of anyone’s life, chock full of mental and physical challenges and changes that would break someone in a different time of their lives… but not teenagers they just keep on trucking.  They just keep on soaking up the information and influences around them eager to shape themselves into some type of mold and fit in somewhere.  I’ve either been a teenager or worked with teenagers for 31 of my 43 years on this planet.  Many of them as a coach and school counselor, where I have learned a thing or two about what makes them tick.  I’ve watched for decades how a teenager’s surroundings and choices during high school go on to shape the course of their entire lives.  Those observations are why I truly believe that teachers and coaches can be the single most important influences in someone’s life.  I still draw energy and strength daily from the vault in my mind where I keep the memories of the time spent with my high school coaches and teachers.

In many ways, I still have the mind and mentality of my teenage self because that is where my heroes shaped and molded me during a time when I could have so easily followed a different and much easier path.  One that was a little more natural to me and would let me do whatever I wanted, a path that would let me quit when the going got tough and fall into a group of people all doing the same.  Luckily for me though, that’s when I met those cloth shorts warriors who taught me discipline, respect, and character.  Coaches who not only talked the talk but walked the walk everyday with us, they were fit and sharp and led by example.  Guys who commanded respect and inflicted a little fear at the mere mention of their names and sight of their faces and whose reputations preceded them.  Men who I have tried to emulate for my entire adult life in hopes that I could change lives like they did for me and countless others.  Real men, ones that you could see and interact with, not comic book characters who you could never dream of living up to. 

I grew out of holding fictional characters in a hero’s light about the time I met the real bona fide heroes in my life.  Ones that gave me a real-life example to follow and who genuinely cared about me and my future.  Men that somehow knew that there was a champion inside of me that I never saw or imagined possible.  A group of Forever Coaches that not only taught me how to unlock my hidden potential but how to channel anger, have confidence, and handle all of the crazy emotions and changes that were seemingly popping up every day at that time in my life.  I always got what I needed at home in terms of support and guidance, but it truly takes a village to ensure that a young person becomes a well-rounded and successful individual. In my case and in the cases of countless others it took the impact of amazing coaches to ensure that I not only became the best athlete that I could be but eventually the best man, husband, and father as well. 

I do realize that there are so many amazing people that can influence a young person that are not coaches.  My stories and messages are from my perspective, and I know that they won’t impact everyone in the same way.  I think that anyone could easily read the message above and swap out coach with whatever title impacted them or switch man to woman and understand where I’m coming from. 

I’d like to impact everyone, but I understand that even my coaches weren’t able to do that.  On the rare occasion that I am talking about them to someone from my hometown and they say “ehh I didn’t really have that experience with them” all that I can think to say is “well, you must have done it all wrong then”.  In reality, they didn’t do it wrong, nothing is ever wrong in God’s plan.  I’ve learned that each moment and situation we find ourselves in during this life is all part of a plan laid out long before we were ever born.  Our experiences will be different as will our viewpoints and perceptions even when we are in the same place at the same time with the same people. 

Sometimes we just standby in many people’s stories only destined to play a very small part, but there may come a time when you are purposefully and intently placed somewhere to be the hero of someone’s story.  I say you can’t go wrong in treating every situation like it was the one you were place here according to destiny to impact.  If my coaches had decided I wasn’t worth the effort, you wouldn’t be reading this because there is no way I’d be doing what I’m doing today.   

You see, you shouldn’t pick a hero by their uniform, you should pick them based on how they make you feel about yourself and by the scope of the potential they see in you.  I’ll take my coaches shorts, whistles, and truckers hats any day over Caps shield and helmet or superman’s cape.  Humans are wired to remember and be impacted the most by how people or situations make us feel about ourselves and my coaches always made me feel like I could achieve anything, and I still feel it to this day. 

Their teachings echo throughout my mind just as strongly today as they did 25 years ago.  I hear their voices pushing me to work harder anytime I feel like giving up, and there have been plenty of those times.  I access the memories they created and remember them running alongside me and pushing me in the weight room as motivation every time I don’t want to get off the couch and put in the work to stay healthy and active.  I hear them again when I am halfway through that workout and just want to stop, and I keep going.  I can still visualize the quotes that covered nearly all free wall space in our locker rooms and weight rooms, and I can hear their voices shouting them out.  Quotes that I would stare at while recovering from brutal sets of exercises as they pushed me to explore the limits of my abilities. 

Perhaps most importantly, I do my best to pass all their lessons down to the athletes that I coach.  I know that one day they will no longer be here making this world a better place.  I suppose this is the only way I know how to keep them around forever, by passing down their wisdom to each new generation in hopes that they do the same indefinitely.  What this world needs today is more real heroes.  It needs people like my coaches, and I’ll spend the rest of my days trying to get their messages out to anyone that will listen!

If you liked this message, do me a favor and reach out to an old coach or mentor that influenced you and let them know how you feel.  They may have no idea that you impacted them and hearing it will make their day!  Lift them up and let them know that they made a difference, it will make you feel good too!