Do Something You Aren’t Capable of
I can’t count the number of times that I have said the words above to an athlete or student over the last twenty plus years and been met with a look of bewilderment and confusion. The great thing about a young person is that they typically don’t hold their tongue when you say something that sounds wrong or ridiculous. They say things like “that makes zero sense coach”, or “exactly how am I supposed to do that”?.
Those are a few typical responses among many others when I would utter that phrase over the years. Early in my career, the way that I answered their question varied, I doubt that it was a very smooth explanation and was more of a bumbling and stumbling attempt to create a legendary moment. Their response to my statement was typically in the form of a question asking how it’s possible to achieve something that they are not capable of achieving. Reading it now, I can see why it is confusing. I eventually settled in on the response that I use to this day, “the version of you that just asked that question can’t, but the one I see in the future can”.
I’m not saying that I can literally see the future, although at times as you will read in my book “Iron and Thunder” it may seem that way. God likes to give me little glimpses and if I’m paying attention and have faith, things seem to play out according to plan. When I have to make that statement to a young athlete or student to do something that they aren’t capable of, it’s normally because they aren’t currently achieving up to their potential. It doesn’t require any real talent on my part to notice when a kid has more in the tank. However, it isn’t always so simple. There are times when it is cut and dry, you can see that they are holding back physically, you know they are stronger and faster than what they are showing. What does take a little skill and practice is knowing when they are being held back by a lack of confidence or self-esteem. Maybe it has something to do with my education and experience in the counseling field or maybe it’s a direct result of having lived it myself as a young athlete, but I’ve always been particularly in tune to seeing this in athletes.
Something magical about being a coach is that with the right approach, often times the only thing that a young person needs is for you to believe in them. There are so many variables and influences in their lives, but yours can be truly meaningful if you pay attention. It doesn’t happen in a day or sometimes even a season, but if you believe in a young person long enough, they start to believe in themselves. Maybe not in all aspects of their life, but with you and in your sport they start to believe what you see in them. They start to achieve things that they weren’t capable of before they knew you were in their corner. They didn’t magically get stronger, faster, or more explosive. They simply gained confidence from your support. Without that confidence, they were held back from achieving to their full potential.
If I had not experienced this exact thing as an athlete, perhaps I wouldn’t be so in tune to recognizing it in others now as a coach. It is one of the many reasons I have dedicated my life to honoring the amazing coaches that I was so truly blessed to have when I was younger. Coaches who saw a young athlete who was mediocre at best, with nothing particularly special about him to make anyone think that he would ever go on to achieve anything special in sports. Coaches who somehow knew exactly what that young man needed to live up to the potential that they saw inside him even if he couldn’t see it was there himself.
As I said previously, it didn’t happen in an instant, but after days, weeks, months, and years of love and support from coaches who had become my role models and hero’s I found myself competing at a level that I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams. A level that the version of me from a few years prior would have stood in awe watching while also knowing he could never achieve it.
My own growth as an athlete, person, and man is directly linked to the influence of my high school coaches. Without ever having to say it, they challenged me to achieve things that I wasn’t capable of achieving. Please believe me when I say that without their influence, I would not be the man that I am today. I would have finished high school the same mediocre athlete, full of hidden talent that I didn’t know was there. Their belief in me unlocked something inside that allowed me to push through pain, endure hardship, and accept life’s challenges and roadblocks as opportunities to grow rather than reasons to give up. Slowly but surely, I began to believe that if they thought I could do something, then I damn well could. The values and character development they instilled in me fuel my passion to this day to help others discover their hidden potential. Potential that is far too often trapped behind a wall of self-doubt, a wall that I aim to help them knock down. A wall that blocks paths for their future and limits their options.
Coaching at the youth sports and high school level is not easy. There is often little or no pay involved, parents can make your life absolutely miserable and have you questioning why in the world you even do it to begin with. I just want to say to anyone coaching young people, you have one of the most important jobs on the planet. I know you don’t get the pay, recognition, respect, or credit that you deserve for the immensely impactful work that you do, but please don’t ever stop. The world needs you, just like I needed my coaches and my athletes have needed me.
Keep the cycle going where you learn from your coaches and pass their lessons on to the next generation, lessons that adapt to the times and ensure that young athletes everywhere learn to live up to their potential. A cycle that ends with them achieving something that they weren’t capable of before they met you and before you believed in them. A cycle that ensures that they go on to do the same. If you do that selflessly and with the right intention, you will receive the best gift that you can possibly imagine. From the day you meet them and until the very last time you see them, they will FOREVER call you COACH.
To my Coaches Fred Blackhurst, Rich Hancox, and Rolland “Bay” Lawrence, I’m talking about you. I will spend the rest of my life teaching your lessons and honoring you for the impact that you made in my life. Maybe I wasn’t capable of what I achieved, but when you told me that I was… I believed it with all my heart. Your support lit a fire in me that will burn until the I die, and until that day I will make sure your hard work, lessons, and passion get passed on. Without you, I would have never even known that my greatest strengths and talents were even there.
